


terezi pyrope is going to be a prosecutor

by SigmundFro



Series: wherein numerous characters judge their peers unfairly; nine characters sport snazzy eyewear; and everyone remains oblivious to the obvious quadrants; [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-18
Updated: 2011-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-26 05:40:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/279352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SigmundFro/pseuds/SigmundFro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dave gets a serious case of déjà vu and Terezi is an eyesore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	terezi pyrope is going to be a prosecutor

_Terezi Pyrope is going to be a prosecutor._ He tells the chick next to him that she’s the best damn conversationalist he’s ever had the pleasure of meeting, and she should seriously consider it as a career. Just fucking drop out the Liberal Arts program and make a living talking. He heard it on Oprah. _Go on_ , he urges, class is about to start and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get to hear more irrelevant facts about people he’s never met.

 _Terezi Pyrope really fucking loves colours._ He figures this one out on his own, but he’d have to be brain dead not to. _Or blind_ , he thinks with a smirk, and for some reason he finds himself questioning whether or not blind people can even have favourite colours, but that’s not the point and he doesn’t know why he’s even thinking about this. What he does know is that he’s never seen anyone wear so many horrendous colours in such an offensive amalgamation. He wonders idly how he managed to miss her when the semester first began, because all he can focus on are those day-glow yellow shorts and the hot pink rain boots and – fuck, this is the girl that’s supposed to be the law prodigy?

 _Terezi Pyrope is insane._ They end up in a group together, and she spends the entire work period simultaneously talking to him – not that he minds, because she’s just weird enough to be funny, and she gets all of his jokes, or at least keeps up with him which is admittedly a nice change – but while she’s talking to him, they’re all typing out the main points in their individual sections, and that’s what he assumes she’s doing too. She shows him her laptop at the end of the class and he finds himself almost grinning at her comic. It’s probably one of the shittiest things he’s ever seen in his life and that mouth _looks like a fucking pork chop_ and he gets the strangest sense of déjà vu as soon as the words are out of his mouth. This girl is insane, and she draws the worst comics and somehow they end up doing a kickass presentation.

 _Terezi Pyrope has a thing for dragons._ He sees this firsthand when she invites him over to hang out, and her half of the room is all law textbooks and mismatched bedding and fucking dragons. She calls them _scalemates_ and he can’t say he’s ever heard of them, but she has them in enormous goddamn piles everywhere in every possible colour. She pushes her hair behind her ear and sure enough, she has tacky as hell dragon earrings too.

 _Terezi Pyrope is a sociopath._ A group of them go out to a club where she somehow manages to get all her drinks for free. And then this one guy is all up in her space and leering down at her in that red dress and there’s suddenly this urge to just _drive a fucking sword through his stomach_ , but she’s giggling and grinning and for a second he thinks she’s flirting back with the douchebag, but her gaze gets predatory and she says something that makes his face go pale and he slinks away like he was punched in the gut. The girl he’s dancing with goes to get a beer, but she doesn’t come back and Pyrope is smiling in the most unsettling way. He’s not a moron and that grin really shouldn’t be turning him on, but it does, and now he completely understands how she and Serket are best friends.

 _Terezi Pyrope drinks a glass of cranberry juice every morning._ He almost frowns, _almost_ , because it’s unfathomable that this chick has just woken up next to him, Dave fucking Strider, and the first words out of her mouth are _Dave, do you have any cranberry juice?_ No, he does not have cranberry juice, and does he look like the type of guy that would walk into a grocery store and go straight for the goddamn cranberry juice? He ends up getting them both a beer, and she settles into his arms like she was manufactured in China to go right there, Slot A into Slot B, perfect fit.

 _Terezi Pyrope is his girlfriend_. Egbert teases him whenever he gets the chance because _you were the last person i ever thought would have a steady girlfriend in university!!! haha, i mean not like it’s a bad thing because we all kinda saw it coming, but wow! oh man, i can’t tell if you’re getting annoyed or not..._ She grins and tells John it’s time for him to have some _hot shut the hell up tea_ , and then she stops and gets a funny look on her face. Almost like her mouth is trying to shape itself into a question mark, but then she shakes her head to herself and he pulls her into his lap for an impromptu obnoxiously ironic sloppy makeout session. Vantas tells them to get a room, but he ignores this, because _Terezi Pyrope is his girlfriend_ and somehow he feels like he’s been waiting centuries for this to finally happen.


End file.
